You’re planning your wedding! Yay!!! Right???? Maybe not. Those feelings of overwhelm are real and totally normal. Let’s talk it out.
I’m Brandy Blackford, an award-winning wedding planner with Sweet I Do’s and the producer of the Arizona Online Wedding Show. You’re in the right place if you’re ready to plan your wedding!
Let’s get started!
Intro
Wedding planning is complicated any time of year, add the holiday stress into the mix and the overwhelm can be huge.
You may be just starting the planning journey, be halfway done or about to say “I do”. Family is going to be curious at a minimum or they may be downright demanding. All of which can add to your feelings of overwhelm.
I tell my clients that I’m their ally and advocate. Anything that seems like it will cause family drama I say to blame on me, that way that decision doesn’t become an issue for future gatherings.
However, if you don’t have a planner, find a friend that can be your ally, the person you can vent to. I recommend this not be your partner because sometimes you may need to say things in the heat of the moment that they may not take really well. No reason to cause stress or a fight during the holidays over a momentary vent.
I also tell my clients to set boundaries. If you don’t want to talk about wedding plans, say something like – “hey family, I know you’re all super excited for our wedding. We’re working through all the details and will share all the information as soon as we make some final decisions.” Or “We’re so excited to spend our holidays with you! We’d really like the focus to stay on the holiday moments and not on our wedding. Promise we’ll start working on all the wedding plans after the new year and we’ll share all the details then.”
If you have to talk wedding because the decision makers or detail givers are all together, again set the boundaries, limit the scope of the conversation and say something like – “We want to talk about the guest list (or whatever topic you need to talk about) for our wedding. After we get through that, we’d really like to enjoy spending the holidays with you.”
If your family still persists, pull out the big guns and just say “this is a no wedding talk day. Thanks for respecting our decision to focus on the holidays!”
Here are some other ways to prevent overwhelm.
Use a checklist like the one I’ve linked to below. It will help you know what needs to happen when during the planning process. If you are nearing the end of planning, you may have some deadlines that are firm, but you should know what those are in advance. Check off the deadlines before they are due and then you’ll be ready to relax and enjoy the holidays.
Know that you aren’t alone in the planning process. Your partner is willing (more than likely) to help you with the planning. But you do have to ask and even harder accept, their help.
Realize that wedding planning can be put on hold, for a short period of time, during the holidays. Know that response times will be longer from venues and wedding pros because they will be either working holiday events or taking time off to celebrate with family and friends.
Finally, shameless plug, hire a wedding planner. It’s our job to take on the stress and let you enjoy your engagement and planning. Good planners will structure your planning journey to give you much needed breaks throughout the planning process.
Enjoy being engaged, enjoy the planning process and I’ll see you next week!
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